Emotions

I love her!

I'm really far behind on blogging but I don't think today is the day to catch up. As many of you know, my sweet little 5 year old niece was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. It has been a really crazy few weeks. She was diagnosed on December 12th. She's already had two spinal tabs and bone marrow biopsies. She's had 4 rounds of chemo. She is thin and hurting. She's having trouble walking up the stairs and is exhausted. It just doesn't seem fair.

As I sat and watched my children wrestle with Bapa, tears filled my eyes. Lilah can't wrestle right now. It  just doesn't seem fair. When I talked to my sister and she talked about her emotions and how she felt horrible for not realizing when Lilah needed help, I cried. It just doesn't seem fair.

Every baby who cried on that floor. Every child who lost their hair. Every parent I saw with a glossy look. The mom getting her tour of the oncology floor as we were packing up to leave. Knowing that this is not going away. Going to receive her treatments and being told "This will become the new normal." Not fair.

I wish I could take it all away. I wish I could hold my sister and take her pain (her bubble certainly wouldn't allow a hug that long!). She's an amazing woman. She's been through so much and she is so strong. I can't tell you all the specifics of her struggles as I am sure she would kill me. But there have been many ups and downs. She has overcome and overcome and overcome. She's fiercely loyal. One time in high school, she chewed out a staff member who wronged me. She covered for me. She taught me all kinds of things! She made it to  Des Moines within 5 hours when Dawson was admitted to the NICU. She reassured me, encouraged me, loved me, forgiven me. I hate that she is going through this. I hate Lilah is going through this.

 And I quote, " I don't know why I am smiling." 

And, " I hope I look normal."

I am sure this is a bit of rambling. It's just what came out. Please pray for them. Pray for Lilah. That she is healed and strengthened. Pray for Jade and Kurt and Bella. That they are all comforted. That they have strength to endure and that the Lord shelters them in the shadow of His wings.