I think I will tell you my birth story. It may be slightly censored as it is near impossible to be completely vulnerable about something so intimate and personal. On Friday, I invited my sister to be part of that intimate moment. I had never even considered having anyone but my husband in there but I am so glad she was and in saying that, there is not another human on the planet I would have allowed in. It is such an intense emotional experience.
On Friday morning, I had an appointment with my midwife. She stripped my membranes at that appointment and said she thought they'd see me in the next 12 hours. My cervix was "ripe." eww. huh? Anyway, I left there and received word that my mom, dad, sister and niece would be driving down that evening. Uh-oh. What if nothing happens? Determined not to let that happen, I went grocery shopping and carted every bit of those groceries up the stairs myself. Then I started the marinara sauce for the famous "put you into labor eggplant parmigiana." And while that simmered I chased the boys around the house. Literally, I ran. My contractions were regular but very light. Since I was group B strep positive, I called the midwife when they were 5-8 minutes apart. She wanted me to come due to thestrep B. From past experience, once I hit active labor, it is quick. I was concerned I wouldn't get the antibiotic in time.
Upon arrival, I was dilated between a 4-5 but still in early labor not active labor. I really think in normal circumstances, I would have been sent home to labor but due to my needing the antibiotics and time, a plan was formed. I was going to stay and start the antibiotics. My midwife (if my contractions didn't pick up) would break my water 4 hours after the antibiotics which was midnight. My sister arrived in plenty of time. My labor did not pick up and at about 12:40 my water was broken.
It did pick up but not enough that I couldn't laugh through some contractions. The atmosphere was amazing. My nurse, midwife and sister were telling funny stories when I was in pain. It was marvelous. As the contractions picked up, I moved to the tub. Bob put on my labor mix of songs and I chilled out. It hurt but it was not unbearable. Yet.
When I hit about 7 centimeters, I was over it. I couldn't get comfortable. I moved. Twisted. Turned. Failed. My midwife Susan was amazing during this time. Whenever I seemed out of control, she brought me back. She hit pressure points on my feet. Showed bob how to apply pressure to my back and my sister rubbed my hands. I stayed at a 7 for an hour and a half. I think I was in and out of the tub. I walked around the room, sat on the toilet, leaned over the bed. An hour into 7, I believe I started begging for pain meds or death. Which ever was easier. I started to think that it was never going to end and that I was going to fail. Susan kept telling me I could do it and that I was doing a great job. Bob told me I had done it before and I could. My sister told me I was strong. My nurse said I made it look easy. (haha. Nice lie Melissa!) Susan had me lie on the bed a while with my leg propped on the tray. She rubbed my back and I moved into a state of being that was unbelievable. I don't believe the intensity slowed down, but the pain I felt subsided. I was able to breath through contractions and was in a semi- sleep state. Praise God for midwives! Susan had said she was going to give me 30 more minutes and see if I had made progress. I told myself that if I was still at a 7, the heck it, I was going to get an epidural. Lo and behold, I was an 8 at the check.
Susan made me get up and it got bad again. I moved to the shower and had Bob spray my back and belly with the sprayer. Labor is something that is a pain you've never felt. There is no escaping it. There is no moving to relieve it. It just is. Eventually, I reached what I call my animal mode. I started pacing the room. After I had Nora, Susan told me she was worried I was going to bolt. Luckily, It was not more than an hour from the time she made me get up til I was ready to push. She checked me about 5:30 and said I was 9. Since this wasn't my first horse and pony show, she could possibly stretch me the rest during a contraction. It took two contractions because I wimped out and made her stop. Now a contraction makes you want to die and a contraction with someone stretching your cervix makes you want to die and take every bloody person in the room down with you! We were ready. They started calling in the team.
I'll be honest. I was scared. terrified. I was tired and now afraid of pain. With Ollie, I pushed for 3 hours. With Dawson, 30 minutes but it really hurt. I was scared. What if I couldn't do it? What if I ripped open clear to my head and bleed to death? (I know that's not possible but you get slightly psychotic after that long in pain.) When we were ready, I pushed twice to crown. Then, she had me move on my side. My understanding is this is a good position because it opens the pelvis and also helps to minimize tearing. I pushed twice more through two contractions. I could hear my sister and bob telling me, "I can see her. I see her Autumn. Keep going. She's out! She's out!" They laid her on my chest. I had completed my third completely unmedicated birth. I had done it. I could do it! I didn't die and here was my prize. A beautiful baby girl.
Bob whispered, "Elenora Jade" into her tiny little ear and prayed a blessing. I looked to Jade. "Do you know her name?"
"No"
"Elenora Jade."
Her eyes and small "oooh." said it all. We had chosen well. It was a courageous name for our little one. Jade had plowed through a lot and I know this birth was something she looked forward to.
There is another picture I'd love to share but it has an awful lot of boob in it as I am nursing. For the sake of modesty, I'll keep it to myself. I wish I had gotten one with her on my chest that was a little more censored. (sigh)
