To the one who made me a mom

Today is a very special day. It is the day, 4 years ago,  that I became a mother for the very first time. That day changes you utterly and completely. You gain a while new perspective on pretty much everything. You worry about things you didn't before. You have joy and a depth of love you couldn't imagine.  Today is my son's 4th birthday. I've had 4 wonderful years being his mother.

To the One who Made me a Mom~

Ollie,

 The day you were born was truly an amazing day. We had no idea if you would be a boy or a girl but we knew we would love you. We just never imagined the strength of that love. The moment you came out, your dad began yelling, "It's a boy! It's a boy!" You should have seen the look on his face. I had never seen him smile like that. They laid you on my chest and I looked at your sweet face. It took my breath away. Just a tiny little baby. My heart could have exploded. The funny thing about that is the love I have for you grows every single day and I love you so much more now. I didn't think that was possible. When we took you home, we had no idea what was ahead. The last four years have definitely been a journey and you have taught us so much!

You are such a smart little boy. You amaze us a regular basis with your knowledge of animals and dinosaurs, with your logic and ability to compare and draw conclusions. I love your heart. You have become so compassionate. I love how you told Dawson he could open one of your birthday presents. I love how you help Dawson up when he falls and how you offer him things to help him feel better. It brings me joy to watch you throw your head back and laugh. I love watching you do your silly dance moves with that ridiculous face you make. You've grown and changed so much. I am loving watching that growth.

I thank God for you every day my dear. I pray that you come to know him as your Lord and Savior for there is no greater desire I have for you. I know a lot of parents say that want their kids to be happy. I'm not so worried about your happiness my dear as I am your holiness. Sure happiness is great but it is fleeting. It is a passing feeling. More than that I want you to find joy. I want you to see that people do not make you happy, things do not make you happy and that everything in this life is temporary. It will not be here forever but the Lord will.

I hope one day you too become a parent. It changes your whole perspective on life. You realize that you would give up absolutely anything for your kids. Keep growing my sweet child. I don't want you to grow too fast but I'm also excited to see who you become. May the Lord give me the strength and wisdom to raise you to be a man of integrity who loves and serves Him.

Love,
Your Mom

Nursery Reveal

Last weekend, my mom and I worked on putting together the nursery. She had already finished the quilt before she came so our primary goal was to make curtains and direct Bob on where to hang things. Originally, I had thought I wanted something with cherry blossoms and hot pink but when mom and I went shopping a few months ago to look for fabric and quilt patterns, I fell in love with a quilt I saw hanging in the store. Instead of being very trendy and fun, it was very classic and sweet. Here is a close-up. I'm sorry it is not straight! The one we saw was a boys quilt and it was brown and blue. I know brown and pink has been the in thing here for a while but I decided I wanted gray and pink instead. You may not be able to tell but the walls are a light gray.

Once we had the quilt pattern, it was easier to decide what we needed and where. This old dresser was my Grandpa Ron's. It was in desperate need of some help. I decided it could double as a dresser and a changing table with the help of my Father-in- Law. He added a rail and divider for the changing pad. I sanded it and he painted it. Last night, Bob and I went and picked out the hardware. I have to say that I LOVE this piece. 

You can also see the curtains here. We went with a double rod and did full length white curtains with a valance. The fabric of the valance is also in the quilt. It was my favorite fabric so I was thrilled when we found enough to do these. Although you can't see in this picture, mom also added a strip of pink ribbon on the bottom. The full length curtains were made from 2 flat king size sheets. Clever!

A few of the smaller details include a "Jack and Jill" lamp that was my sister and mine as kids. It is so darling. We needed a new shade but that was easy enough. We also hung a framed picture of antique stockings and bonnet on the wall which belonged Bertha Stahler, my paternal great grandmother. My parents had it re-framed with a pink and gray matte. 

We were given a new crib this time by my parents. It is beautiful. The other crib was a drop side crib that had been through 4 of their grandchildren. I always thought it was neat that my sister and I's babies had all slept the same place but I am over the moon with this new crib. Hanging beside it is the diaper bag my mom gave me for my birthday made from matching fabrics of the quilt. I love it! 

So, we have a few things to add like her name but that's secret and a quote I want painted on the wall. Bob was kept pretty busy today with making big brother little sister shirts and adding hardware to the dresser. I'm excited to have my little lady love. Stay tuned! 

New Room

As the new baby approaches, we have many things to get accomplished. One of the those was to put the boys into a room together. Our rooms are really small and so we felt bunk beds would be best. Bob wanted to built them with the help of his dad. I started to get a little hyper when I was almost 34 weeks and they hadn't been started. My boys were both born at 36 weeks 6 days. I couldn't start the baby room until Dawson was moved out.

Anyway, Bob and his Dad did get them built and they are fabulous. They spent time building them while the boys and I were away to Minnesota visiting my family. Then Jim (Bob's dad) finished painting them. We moved them in on Thursday evening. While the men moved the beds, Grandma Mel and I went shopping! Thanks for the baby stuff!

 In order to try to ease the transition, we put Dawson on a mattress on the floor starting Sunday night. That gave us time to paint the room and set up the crib as well. Thanks to Nana the boys each got new bedding. Ollie picked Dinosaurs and Dawson chose construction. You would think with as excited as they were about the bedding sleeping would go well but nope. The first 3 nights were horrible.  Both boys cried and screamed for 90 minutes. Ollie is used to the door open with light in the hallway. Dawson likes the door closed with it pitch black. We realized real fast that the door must stay closed otherwise Mr Dawson runs out every 2 minutes laughing. We compromised by a closed door but the closet light on. Day 4 was a breeze. But then day 5 came and we moved in the bunk beds. The nightmare restarted. Ollie had a hard time because no one could lay with him but he has proved to be a champ and went to sleep without someone since. Also, he had gotten in the habit of getting in our bed ever night and that has stopped too. Dawson, on the other hand is currently crying. It breaks my heart but he has to learn to go to sleep on his own.

We are so thankful for the all the hard work Jim put into the beds. They are absolutely perfect and we loved them! He's quite the carpenter so they are much sturdier than anything we could have afforded to buy. We are also thankful for Nana who bought the bedding. It is quite the treat for the boys. 

Stay tuned! I'll be blogging about the nursery soon!

Love

So it seems I have been learning a lot about love lately. My Bible study is memorizing John 15:9-12 (⁹ “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. ¹⁰ If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. ¹¹ I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. ¹² My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.) And then this morning, I read 1 Corinthians 13-- also known as the love chapter. I spent a bit of time during my prayer time focusing on asking God to help me love as he does. Then, I spent a bit of time praying for the upcoming arrival of our little lady love. 


It was during that time that a small gesture came back to me. While praying about my upcoming labor, I started to think about when I gave birth to Dawson. I remember them handing him to me and being so joyful and in love. The next several minutes proved tough though. It wasn't long before the NICU team was in my room working on him. It was when they made the decision to take him that I was touched forever. While I sat with tears streaming down my face, a young resident gently placed his hand on my ankle. I could tell he was hurting for me by the look on his face. I don't know his name but I remember his kindness. As I was praying today, I thought, "yes Lord, I see." Loving like the Lord does means that we genuinely feel for them. We see them where they are and we see what they need. Loving someone doesn't always mean a grandiose gesture. It can be a short touch and a look of sympathy. I pray that this man  has or will become a doctor and I pray that he does not lose that love for people. I pray he is a believer and I will see him in heaven one day.