I'm not mad

I know that my last post may have sounded as if I was upset with God or that I didn't trust him but that's really not the case. I have total faith that we will get through this. The crazy thing about God is that he knew before time that this is where we would be. Here in the NICU with a 2 year old at home. He knew our address. He knew Dawson's name and he knew I'd be feeling like this. Let me give you a few reasons why I'm not mad.

1. I wanted to be pregnant sooner than I got pregnant. It took us three months to get pregnant with Dawson. If I had gotten pregnant sooner, we may have been intransit from NC or living with Bob's dad when this happened.

2. God knew the precise time we needed to move. Lest I remind you, we moved into our home on Saturday. If we had moved a week later, we may not have been in our home when this happened.

3. God knew we needed to move. One day in May, he placed it on my husband's heart that it was time. If we were in NC, I'd be driving an hour to go to the hospital instead of 15 minutes. I'd also be without my sister, my mom, my dad and my husband's family to help me through.

4. I left my dogs behind. Don't get me wrong, I miss them terrible but I can't imagine the stress of dealing with them on top of my two year old and my poor baby Dawson.

5. We found a church family quickly. We are attending the Downtown Church. We are involved in a Bible Study. The people of our study are praying for us, have offered help and hope and sent a stuffed animal and a balloon here for Dawson.

6. I met Laurel. Laurel is a woman in our Bible study group who just happens to work Mondays and is a labor and delivery nurse here at Methodist Hospital. She was with me through my labor and stayed behind after they took Dawson to pray with me.

7. I chose to deliver at Methodist which just happens to have a children's hospital and a wonderful staff.

8. Dawson was born and is going to be ok. He has had a rough go but he was never in real danger of not making it. He's amazing and we are in love.

So yes this is not what I wanted or expected but God knew before time it would happen. He loves us and prepared us to endure. He is an awesome and mighty God. I trust that I will have both my babies together really soon.